There’s a lot of talk about intention setting, particularly about how we want to show up in general day-to-day life.
However, for some reason when disputes arise, all of that seems to go out the window.
We forget everything that we are trying to learn and be and become.
Bringing intention setting to a legal dispute is also really crucial.
Not only about being really intentional about who you’re being and how you’re behaving. But also setting an intention has a couple of other really important outcomes.
The first has to do with brain science. If you’re preparing for mediation: set an intention. A lot of people think you should set your lowest acceptable point.
But I don’t.
If you set your lowest acceptable point, that is what your brain holds onto, and that’s more than likely where you’ll end up during a mediation.
Rather than setting your lowest possible point, you should set an intention of how the mediation should go, and it should be broader than just a dollar figure. It should be more about looking forward with the future, how you’re going to be financially secure and safe, and how this dispute is going to end.
When you’re under stress, there’s less and less things that your brain can dynamically do because it’s focused more on fight and flight and survival, setting that intention is something that your brain can fixate on.
What happens with your brain is that it will fixate on your intention rather than a lowest point, and you’re more than likely going to get the outcome that you set an intention on.
Your capacity for problem solving and complex use of your brain during a mediation can be diminished because of stress. So try and give your brain as much as you can head start by setting an intention.
The second has to do with the Golden Rule in life: doing unto others as you would have unto you.
Getting an intention to win may not be your best bet. Because you winning meaning someone else’s loss, or your winning may just mean punishing someone else.
So how about actually wanting the best outcome for everyone?
You may hate the other person right now, but you actually don’t wish them harm, more than likely. You don’t wish them dead.
You just want to be able to move forward.
You want your life back.
You want to be financially secure.
You want everyone to be happy and healthy around you.
You want it to be over. So your intention is the best outcome for everyone.
So setting a broad intention like that and actually meaning it can have some pretty amazing results.
It might not be the best outcome that you absolutely want in the moment.
However, then quite often in hindsight, you see that it’s actually what should have happened, so you were able to move on with your life.