Women are often scared and angry that they cannot afford to be legally represented, or even believing they cannot afford justice. Lawyers feeling like they are in charge of your issue is part of the problem – lawyers are trained to see your problem and solve it for you. The fact is: your lawyer shouldn’t be in control of your matter any way.
Lawyers taking control is quite often why legal fees get out of control. Because the lawyer is just sort of doing what they believe needs to be done. Problem is, they make assumptions, don’t ask enough questions, and make a decision that might not be the best for you. But if you’re not controlling your matter actively, it can get out of control.
You actually want to be in control because it is your life; your lawyer shouldn’t be in control.
Yes, the solicitor is there to provide you with advice, but not to make your decisions for you. They should be asking you every step of the way.
And you can say “No”, and you can ask what the other options are.
You can also do certain aspects of the process yourself.
When you’re going through an emotionally difficult time, it’s quite a relief sometimes to basically offload and hand over the problem to someone else. But it is your life and it is your problem, so lean on the solicitor for advice and guidance and for the administrative support and professional guidance that they can give you.
BUT, don’t just hand over the complete responsibility. Don’t just go, “Okay, well they know what they’re doing. We’ll just let them run with it.”
It’s often in a lawyer’s interest to over-service you particularly if they’re charging you an hourly rate, and do more than what you actually need.
Even though it’s stressful and tricky and difficult to have to face something like a personal legal problem, it is your problem. A bit of tough love: the outcome depends on how you manage the process.
So learn how to find a solicitor that is right for you, instead of someone that can’t work with you.